In about an hour, I am going to tell my supervisors about my decision to attend law school. I do feel nervous and hope that they will be supportive. I did come up with a more fleshed out, professional e-mail with the help of my mother. (Turns out that one thing we can bond over is navigating office politics) What surprised me was that when I was trying to compose the e-mail and write things that where more sentimental than professional, I found myself getting weepy. It was an unexpected reaction. As I am going through this transition, I cannot help by think about when I left Atlanta. I was VERY upset to say the least. (I am sure that folks who knew me then can testify to my sadness at leaving Atlanta) This is different because I do not know if I am going to leave Durham. For now, it is just leaving a job one that has good parts and one that has things that can be improved.
When I made the decision to leave Atlanta and then told my co-workers, I found this poem by Rita Dove called "Dawn Revisited." I read it again last night and this morning and now again as I paste it here. Even when you are making a good decision or one that has been well thought out, IT IS STILL HARD to change patterns. The thing I love about this poem is that for me it gives the courage needed to try something new. Wherever you are in your lives, I hope that this poem inspires, encourages, or comforts you.
Poem: "Dawn Revisited," by Rita Dove, from On the Bus with Rosa Parks (Norton).
Imagine you wake up
with a second chance: The blue jay
hawks his pretty wares
and the oak still stands, spreading
glorious shade. If you don't look back,
the future never happens.
How good to rise in sunlight,
in the prodigal smell of biscuits—
eggs and sausage on the grill.
The whole sky is yours
to write on, blown open
to a blank page. Come on,
shake a leg! You'll never know
who's down there, frying those eggs,
if you don't get up and see.