Beastmomma

During my bridal shower in MD, one of the games we played was a "who knows the bride best." I had been given questions prior to the party and the guests had to guess my response.  One of the questions was "When I was little what did I want to be when I grew up?"  When I was answering the question, I could only remember when I was in day care and I went around declaring that I was going to be president.  I also remembered my mother teasing me about how I was busier than the president in high school.   When the question was asked, the responses reminded me of who I had aspired to be so long ago.  I felt excited at how well people remembered my aspirations and a little sad at how quickly I had forgotten what I once I aspired to become. 

Some of the answers were teacher, social worker, lawyer, and writer.  One funny person said that I wanted to be Partner's wife which made everyone laugh.  While I did become a lawyer (almost), I found myself wondering what my life would be like if I had chosen one of the other career paths.  When I was talking with Sonja the other night, she asked if it was hard for me to give up being a writer or becoming an English teacher.  I told her that it was not hard because in college I did not do well in my classes and I found public health which was a career I did not even know about until I started exploring more.  While I sometimes wish that I was making my living by doing creative writing, I am slowly coming to realize that I may be all the things I once thought about becoming.  As a lawyer, I do hope to be a force for good and work towards social justice.  Part of the way I intend to do that is to teach my clients about the law and how to navigate the legal system or to change the legal system to make it more user friendly.  In order to accomplish those things, I will be doing some writing. 

I finally figured out that I want to be a lawyer which is exciting! I only hope that the MPRE and future bar results second that  motion.

I have had a long day which I think lead me to create a very long post for this entry.  Over the weekend, I cranked out 15 thank you notes! We have a rule that we can only use a gift once the thank you note has been written.  For the most part we have honored this request; however, I realized after I started cooking that I did not write a thank you for our fancy and beautiful Le Creuset 3 1/2 quart French Oven.  Looks like I know which thank you note will be written first in the next round.

For the first meal in our lovely new addition, I decided to make Michael Symon's Spicy Tomato Soup.  It is simmering right now and I have to say that I love seeing this fancy, red pot on my stove.  As strange as I sound, I feel like the kitchen belongs to someone else.  The smallest details can make such a difference.  Even though I know this and I also know that nothing has to be permanent, I find that I am so timid with assigning homes to items and also in using lovely new things.  Even though I complain about them profusely, I still reach for some of Partner's old stuff.  I figure if I mess them up or accidently destroy them, nothing is lost.  However, I have a weird sense of pressure with our new items.  What if I somehow do irrevocable damage?  In order for me to address this issue, I need to just take things slow and be patient even if I know that I am being silly.

What about you, do you feel hesitant to use new tools or do you love jumping right in?

***Update***

The soup turned out incredibly well! It was so yummy that I scarfed down to helpings in one sitting and then finished the rest the next night.  Poor Partner did not really get much at all.

I spent most of the day running errands to get things for our place.  This morning, the blanket we had been using as a curtain fell which we took as a sign that TODAY was the perfect time to purchase our new curtains.  I found myself at the store with gift cards and coupon, but no idea what I was doing.  With the assistance of a good salesperson, I purchased, curtains, rods, and rings with which to put up curtains.  Since our room is bright blue, I went with eggshell curtains.  The whole process took longer than expected.  As we are making more decisions about our house, I am realizing that I get nervous about doing it wrong.  With so many options, I feel like it is easy to pick the wrong thing.  One nice thing about being a homeowner is the ability to make changes.  With limited time and motivation, the changes are not as easy to implement as they are to articulate.