I celebrated a birthday on the 3rd and was searching for a perfect quote or story or song about aging to share. I could not find anything that fully captures what I am trying to express. Sure, there are a lot of things about changing bodies which includes wrinkles and gray hair. I do have both of those things. A lot of other items focus on gratitude and being in the now. I have a lot of that too. There are also more morbid ones that describe how life is going quickly and the fear of things disappearing. I have been feeling that a lot too.
Even though I do not eat meat, so far I think of 37 as well done. By no means, am I finished with everything I hope to accomplish or become, but I think that I am pretty well seasoned with some tough and tender spots. When I look in the mirror, I am startled to see a graying woman with some wrinkles looking back at me. I still recognize the little girl I hope stays with me for the rest of my life in the glint in my eyes and my goofy smile. I feel youthful when I am playing with my daughter and partner; it feels like we are all the same age when our laughs blend together.
I truly know that life is a fragile gift, that what I love, cherish, and, many times, take for granted will not always remain or at least not be the same as it is right now. I go from striving to cherish and be in the moment to freaking out that things and people will disappear or be harmed and I will not be able to move on. I am amazed at how many people I have in my life who have known me for almost or more than half my life. Partner celebrated my TENTH birthday with me and I am surprised that so much time has passed, but so glad that one of the things I still wish for is to be amorous with him.
I do not know what the next year will bring, but I hope that the season will bring more clarity and manifestation of all that is fulfilling and satisfying. Thank you for being in this space with me. It is an incredible thing to document life's journey in a space that feels both open and intimate.