It may sound strange that I feel happy and hopeful about passing the bar with the Saints' victory.  They had never one a superbowl and I (embarrassed as I am to admit it) have never aced a standardized exam.  Here's hoping that the end of one losing streak will lead to another.

Fortunately, between now and the real bar exam, I have many more practice problems and memorization at my disposal.  Maybe by the time the exam arrives, I will be so tired that my sleep will again be restorative and I can do well enough on the exam to be average and pass!!!!

Oh self-esteem, please please do not allow me to self-sabotage!

In other news, I finished an incredible book!!! You can read my review here.

On Saturday, I took a dance class which was pretty fun.  I discovered that my car died.  Turns out that one downside of taking public transportation or walking everywhere is that your car can die from non-use.   While we were waiting for a jump start, I noticed that Birdie (my car) is starting to rust!! Seems like my poor car is struggling with the cold weather too :)

We decided to tackle our study which meant finishing the assembly of a book case and unpacking more boxes. Partner was on a mission to make our house feel homier.  The book case was from IKEA and those directions suck!!! After a lot of cussing and taking breaks, Partner figured it out!  All of a sudden we had an assembled book case and more floor space.  After unpacking more boxes, we had some books on the shelf, more items in the kitchen, and keyboard set up--- the room looks amazing!! We celebrated by going out for Indian food and were delighted to discover a tasty place near us that was affordable and yummy.

On Sunday, we woke up to find that our heat was off. It was terrifying because I was so cold and worried that we would not be able to figure it out.  After reading a few manuals and watching a you tube video, we had a plan of attack.  Unfortunately, our first few attempts did not work.  After taking a short nap, under many layers of covers, Partner got inspired and tried something new.  It worked!!! We had heat and did not have to shell out over $300 to have someone come out on a Sunday.

While I did not study much at all over the weekend, I felt recharged.  Hopefully, I can pull through and rock out on the exam at the end of the month.

 Lisbeth, the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, was the character that tugged at my heart strings the most.  It is clear that she has a troubled past, but we did not find out much about her history. I also thought that her character did not have much resolution.  There was such a contrast between her professional brilliance and her inability to have healthy real life relationships. Maybe there is more resolution in the other books in the series.  As an aspiring esquire (please please send good thoughts my way on February 24th and 25th that I pass the bar), I was especially sad to learn that she felt that the legal system had failed her.  From her previous experiences, I can understand why.  However, I wish that she had had at least one experience to renew her faith in the legal system.  On a positive and very selfish note, it made me feel more motivated to work towards passing the bar, so that I can try to help people like Lisbeth's character.

My inspiration and motivation is coming from a variety of resouces.  Even though reading for pleasure is limited to my commuter rail rides, I am glad that I getting inspired by fictional characters. You can read the full review here.

Anyway...

My brain hurts. My eyes hurt. My back hurts.  My hand hurts.  During class, I overhear bits of conversations of my classmates and feel more insecure as they brag about how well they are doing on practice exams.   I MISS hanging out with Partner without the constant fear of the exam looming overhead; I also wish that so much of our time together did not consist of him quizzing me.  The cost of my bar prep course is so high!!! I worry a lot about the money being wasted if I do not pass.  My endurance is waning.

In order to stay the course, I need to remind myself of why I want to be a lawyer.  I have been thinking a lot about the clients I had when I took a Trust & Estates Clinic last fall.  They were a young couple who wanted to make plans for who would care for their children if something happened to them.  The experience of working with *real* people was so terrifying! However, I realized that I really love it and that there is room for me to be a good practitioner.   While I am not sure if I want to work with clients again, I sure would like to have that option.  Many lawyers do not work with folks who do not have a lot of resources; I think that is unfortunate.  Many things about the legal profession need to change and I want to be one of the folks who helps to transform things.  In order to be an advocate to the best of my ability, I need to pass the bar!

I managed to walk to the train station to attend class.  During class, I appreciated and laughed at the jokes made by the professor as I was trying to learn contracts.  I also walked home from the train station after class.  My amazing new coat worked well, but I could still feel my pant legs getting soaked.  On the train, I helped two people with directions.  I kept my promise to smile at every person with whom I made eye contact to try to break through the stand off nature of MA.

Also, I accidentally dropped our mail which included Partner's new credit card.  Everything got soaked.  However, I still got inside and managed to do some work to prepare for the bar.

Hooray!