Beastmomma

I just turned in my LAST PAPER for this semester.  Assuming that I did not fail any of my classes, I am officially finished with my second year of law school!  I am in shock; every moment that I am in law school, I feel out of place and on the verge of getting rejected.  When I look at law school as a whole, I see examples of my non-failure.  My insecurities are magnified and come out in full force during exam period.  I do not really like myself very much; I get lost in the stress shuffle. I feel isolated and alone in the dark cave of finals.  It feels like there is not much source of warmth or light. << That sounds dramatic, but law creates drama-- just your local television listings if you do not believe me :)

One of the things I try to do to center myself when I am having trouble falling asleep (although, I have been known to do this right before an exam as well) is to start the sentence, "Even if I fail this exam [or other worst case scenario], I am still incredibly blessed because....." Given the stress of these last few weeks, I have used this technique many times. Many items pop into my brain and I would bore you if I listed everything here.

Tonight, I am going to adjust the prompt and make it, "I am grateful for..." and I will think of this:

Around 7:30 p.m. PST

Partner to-be: I am calling now because I am going to bed, but give me a ring when you turn in your paper because I want to be the first person to congratulate you.

11:46 p.m. PST

Me: I FINISHED!!!

Him: Hooray!! I am so proud of you.

Me: I love you so much; I could not have done it without you.

Him: That is nice to hear. You help me achieve more than I think possible too.

I know that it sounds cheesy and goofy, but sometimes I cannot stop smiling when I think that I have someone who requests to be woken up when I finish something that is important to me.   Of course, I know that there are others cheering for me and providing support as well.  However, this exchange just happened a few minutes ago.