Beastmomma

I think that I may have an ego problem. On Tuesday night, I got called on in Constitutional Law.  This is something which terrifies, but I was prepared and wanted to do well.  Unfortunately, I was also nervous. I stumbled some and the professor started going down the row to my left.  I felt bad that other students got put on the hot seat because of my fumble. However, I was also determined to figure out the correct answer.  This feeling also intensified when I realized that folks who talk ALL THE TIME and GET ON MY NERVES were gearing up to give the correct answer.  As they started raising their hands, I would immediately raise mine and just say something, anything that sounded confident.  It was also the first time ALL YEAR that the professor recognized my hand and eventually I got one right answer.  A few folks told me that I did a good job after class.

Even though I was terrified, I felt good to stand and deliver.  Even though the annoying people did get a few responses in, I was glad that my voice was loud and strong in the discussion. 

Hmmm... maybe there is hope for my talking more in class.

Last Friday, I attended a talk about the Rollback of Civil Rights.  It was so interesting to hear a different take on a lot of the cases I have read in  Constitutional Law.  All of a sudden I found myself getting excited and thinking that Commerce Clause is quite powerful indeed.  I also wondered (again) why so much of law school teaching is dry and void of passion or excitement.  The law is something that impacts everyone whether or not you are engaged with the process. One of the things which stuck with me is the notion that folks who have the most power in society are the best at playing the victims.  An example from popular culture comes from the movie Borat.  At one point in the movie, a white college student is complaining that minorities have more rights in the country than anyone else.  There are also examples of this with the presidential campaigns. 

That night I went to the first session of a creative leadership circle. The purpose of this program is to delevop leaders with a moral compass. The first two people who introduced themselves and talked about what they wanted to get out of the program both said that they were VERY conservative and wanted to learn how to express themselves without offending people.  One person talked about staying at home to raise her kids for 22 years and being around people who were exactly like her.  She said that law school was the first time she had been around people who disagreed with her.  <<< I was just amazed at how I got to see the powerful victim phenomena play out right in front of me. 

Now, I feel conflicted.  At the start of the session, the leader talked about how we were going to gain a lot from each other.  I do not mean to brag or sound like I am full of myself, but I DO NOT want to help cultivate leaders who are wanting to create a world that is filled with things that I find offensive.  There is something to be said about interacting with people whose views are vastly different than yours.  Well, I did that when I participated in a political leadership program and I experience it every day in law school when I hear or witness ignorant comments.  I want to learn to be a better leader, but I also want the space and group I do that with to be people with whom I resonate. 

Coincidently in my response to what I wanted to get out of the leadership circle I had written, "I want to be more assertive in expressing myself. I would also like more patience with ignorant people whose comments make me so angry."  << I did not share all of that with the group.  Instead, I just focused on speaking up.

I have not commented much on the elections (yet).  However, this video just about made my head explode.  One thing I continue to fail to understand is why so many presidential candidates feel that they can only communicate with communities of color by using slang.  Case in point: in celebration of Martin Luther King Day, Mitt Romney stops in Jacksonville, Florida.   All the people in the video are young and black.  Romney uses a lot of (offensive) slang to relate to "the people."  It makes my stomach hurt; especially at the end when he refers to a baby as Michael Jordan and talks about the kid's bling.  

Since it is late, I am unable to figure out how to put up the video.  Instead, I will direct you to go here.