Entries from July 1, 2005 - August 1, 2005

Vision Revision Finds a Home

I know it is unusual for me to post twice in five minutes. However, I just checked my e-mail and found out that the essay I submitted about turning thirty got accepted.

Wow-- I am getting something published in book.

Am I a superstar?

Who knows, but I am certaintly a giddy woman.

Thanks for believing in me.

 

Posted on Sunday, July 31, 2005 at 01:19PM by Registered Commenter[beastmomma] | Comments1 Comment

Memory Lapse

When I was younger, one of my favorite games was "Uno." I thought that I was pretty good.  At the UNO tournaments during summer camp, I placed pretty high in the rankings. I had a mean streak and would force people to draw two cards if they did not say "uno" when they had just one card.  Reshma came over on Friday night and I suggested a tournment with her and Beth.  We decided to play for points where the first person to get 500 points loses.  Imagine my dismay when I got creamed.  I loss by about 80 points and had over twice as many as the winner Reshma.  Maybe she and Beth are just stronger players.  Hard to tell really.

Since I had not seen Reshma in awhile because of her travel schedule, she ended up spending the night because I talked her ear off and bored her to sleep at about 3am.  I got some good perspective about attractive cousin since he is her cousin.  Basically, the gist is that he is a friendly flirty person and based on her conversations and observations thinks that he views me as a cool friend. As much as this was a relief, I do feel a bit disappointed.  However, it was good to get some information closer to the source.

Last night, I went to a party to celebrate Dr. Brian becoming a PhD. There was lots of tasty food. I decided to wear one of my coll new outfits which is a brown skirt and a white cotton shirt. It looks saucier than it sounds.  When I walked, I realized that I was matching with the hostess.  It was pretty funny. I looked at Brian's PhD which was on display and realized that there is a lot of math in it.  As soon as I got past the acknowledgements, I was pretty much lost. 

Today I went with Beth to look at a car and by the time we got there, the car had already been sold.  It was crazy!!! While I am talking about it, does anyone have a RELIABLE used car that they are selling for $2000 or less. Please let me know and I can pass it on to her.  The universe is just giving a beat down with the car search.   We then tried a new Indian restaraunt which I thought was okay.

 

Posted on Sunday, July 31, 2005 at 01:00PM by Registered Commenter[beastmomma] | CommentsPost a Comment

Vision

Relationship with Parents:
I would like to have more conversations about things other than my marriage or getting a list of people I need to call to wish Happy Birthday or give condolences.  I would like to do more than listen to the run down of events from babies to houses to engagements to scandals of people in their community. With my dad, I would like us to share a passion for something together instead of each of us trying to convince the other of the importance of being a Democrat or the pros and cons of various cell phone plans.  With my mother, I would like to feel more engaged and sympathetic when she goes about her stress and sorrow.  I would like to tell her that she needs a better framework and a paradigm shift.  Instead, I find myself saying "You need a break-- come visit" and secretly hoping that I do not end up like her.  I feel guilty for judging their life and would like to be at peace with the feeling that I want something different.
 
LSAT:
I want closure and not to feel stupid. The test has made me cry and question my intelligence much more than is appropriate. I would like to fully release it by either taking it again or just closing the door and not looking back.  I feel humiliated by my result and would like that to change.  If I go to law school,  I do not want to have the nagging feeling that my life would have been better if I had scored higher.  If I take it again, I do not want to be nervous. I am tired of tests intimidating me and holding so much of my future hostage.
 
Leadership Institute:
I would like to be respected and regarded as powerful and brilliant.  I would like to be able to tell someone whose views I find despicable that I think they are full of hate and shit and should have to really live with the consequences of the laws they pass in a manner that will still allow me to be well liked.  I would like to be able to listen well enough that I can understand others viewpoints, but still articulate and speak with enough passion that I can get my viewpoint across. By going through this course, I hope to feel empowered to participate more fully in the political process and less frightened by all the things I do not know or feel like I need to learn in order to do more. 
Posted on Wednesday, July 27, 2005 at 08:09PM by Registered Commenter[beastmomma] | Comments1 Comment
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