Beastmomma

I ended up having a date on Saturday night.  I have never been good at following conventions or rules. This week, I had been e-mailing with a local guy from the Indian dating website. He seemed pretty nice and funny. We talked on the phone briefly on Friday night as I was trying to go out dancing.  Saturday we chatted again and he asked if I wanted to meet him that night.  Throwing out the rules convention of not accepting a date for the weekend, past Wed, I decided to meet him.  It was a bit of déjà vu as we went for a walk and would then decide on whether we wanted to have dinner or coffee.  (On a side note, I would like to say that I am impressed with myself for engaging people in walks instead of automatically eating)

During our conversation on Saturday, we were talking about appearance. I always get so nervous that somehow I am not going to live up to the expectations of what I look like based on the fantastic pictures taken by Ben.  This fellow has a very dry, sarcastic sense of humor.  He said, "looks don't matter much unless I am not attracted to the person." Now, normally, I would have said "true that" and been laughing along with him. Since I was going to be seeing him in a few hours, I was nervous.  I told him that I weighed 350 pounds.  Somehow, the subject turned to food and I said that all I ate was twinkes and cupcakes. We got sidetracked by describing how much we love cupcakes. In spite of my description of myself as a 350 pound woman with an addiction for processed junk food, he still agreed to meet me.

We were supposed to meet at 7pm and I was waiting. I had left my purse and cell phone in my car. It got to be about 7:20pm and I was thinking, "Being stood up will be a new and painful experience." Then, I see this car drive by and the driver wave at me.  He came up to me and apologized for being late.  He had gotten lost and called my house where my roommate gave him directions.  Appearance wise, I thought he was totally cute.  After apologizing, he said, "I brought you a present" and busted out a package of cupcakes. He said that they did not have them at the grocery store, so he stopped at a gas station. It was very nice and much better than a stuffed animal.  

Then we went on our walk and we stopped to enjoy the cupcakes. Later on we sat on another bench and just talked which was very nice.  He seems to be pretty focused on work and concerned with having enough money. I found out later that it is because he grew up poor.  I also found out that his father passed away a few years ago and that he is pretty close to his mom and sisters.  During our walk, his cell phone rang twice. The first time, I thought he had forgotten to turn it off. I was walking away from him to give him privacy, but he kept following me.  The second time it rang, we were sitting on a bench and I got up and walked away. Again, he kept following me. It was very odd. After the second phone call, I asked him if he ever turned his cell phone off.  He said that it was his only phone.  Plus, since he was starting his own business people were calling him all the time. I smiled and said, "Wow, even on a Saturday night."

He was not very hungry, but said that he would sit with me. I asked if he had a big appetite and he said that he did not. I informed him that I liked to eat a lot and was not one of those woman that would stop eating just to impress men and hoped that it would not be a problem for him. He asked me why that would be a problem. I said because some people are crazy.  We went to one of my favorite restaurants and as we were looking at our menus, I decided to play a trick on him.  {Earlier he had told me about this date he went on with this strange woman who he met for dinner. She chose the place and after they sat down, she said that she could not eat there.  Then they went to another place and she did the same thing. Finally, they got to the third restaurant where she ate and told him that he was the only one that understood her. } I said to him in a very serious voice, "We have to leave because I cannot eat here." His eyes got really big and he said, "Are you serious?" I said, "Absolutely not" and then burst out laughing.  I probably should have been nicer, but I just could not resist.

We had good dinner conversation and then went to get coffee. He was pretty willing to answer all my questions. I asked about his political philosophy to which he responded that he was not very involved with it, but since he was in business that was what focused his framework. To give background, I had never met anyone that gave me reasons why our current administration is not at fault for most of the country's woes that I respected or understood.  This guy proceeded to make that argument and I was alarmed to find myself saying and believing, "I can see how you could say that."  It was a bit odd and he said (which I agree with to a large extent) that there should be more focus on international development. Even the poorest of the poor in the United States would be considered wealthy in other countries. I explained based on the work I do and who I am that I think it is important to work for change where you are not just where you wish you could be and I thought in general that people needed to look beyond their own backyards.   He understood my point of view as well; however, it felt a bit odd.

I did enjoy his company and then it was almost 11pm. More proof that I am getting old because I was feeling a bit exhausted. We walked back to our cars and he asked if he could look at Birdie's engine.  I asked if he wanted to go for a ride so that he could see the display. He said yes, so we drove around for a bit and talked about the car and vehicles in general.  (Did I mention that I love my car?) As we were pulling back to his car, he said something about "We can talk about that next time." I said because I am the Queen of smooth, "does that mean that I passed the initial screening and there will be a second date?"

He laughed and then we talked for a bit. I did want to kiss him, but I had not gotten any clues as to whether or not he thought I was attractive. Plus, I decided that I could wait. He told me that he would call me soon, but as he had mentioned things were super busy and not to worry if he did not get to me for one or two weeks. He said that he just wanted to hang out for awhile and see if something more develops because he is not sure where he is going to be in two months. (He is job hunting and starting a business) I felt relived and thanked him for being so clear. Then his fucking phone rang again. To make light of the situation, I said "I bet there are like 100 messages waiting for me at home." He said, "Yeah, I am sure that there are 50 guys calling to go out with you."  I was a bit startled with this revelation, but smiled and said, "yeah."  Then he thanked me for a good night and left.

Overall, the rating of the date is: cute with some misgivings. I did enjoy his company, but the cell phone and the politics troubled me.

Most importantly, in case he does not call, I will remember that he has big ears.

In an effort to prevent errors and give recongition to all the sites people are recommending in the  comments, I am going to try to put them in the next day's post.  Please continue to rock out with Ben.  Also,  Jef has a site where of his writing.  Joan has recently updated.  Please let me know if I have forgotten anything.

Today is my car, Birdie's first birthday. I cannot believe that I have had her a year.  Seems like only yesterday, I was driving her from Silver Spring to Atlanta. I think this is the first car I have had the has gone on so many road trips is such a short period of time: Durham,  Nashville, Silver Spring, Asheville, Atlanta.  Phew-- when I write it out in that fashion, it does not seem like a lot. However, there have been multiple trips to some of those destinations.  Many of you know that I have a bit of an unhealthy attachment to my cars.  I just think of it as my fortress and she has helped me many a time. I am not particulary religious, but I have said quite a few prayers in my car-- asking to be centered before I meet people, calling on courage, or just meditating.   Anyway, Happy Birthday Birdie-- I am thankful for all you bring to me!

I seem to have tunnel vision or something. Ben had posted a link to one of his project sites twice in the comments section and seems like everyone found and followed it except me :( Sorry Ben.  At home our speakers are strange, so I have not heard any of the final products yet. However, there are some familiar songwriters and  it would be great for you to send him lyrics that can be put to his incredibly awesome music.

In other news, I have realized that I am starting to get old. Last night, my roommate and I decided to go dancing. First, we took a nap. Secondly, we got to the party at about 10:15pm. We danced for awhile and then realized that everyone was young. It was a definite college scene.  I felt far away from that age bracket. We came home at about 12:15am and were exhausted. At least I did some cardio while dancing.  

This may be a loaded question, but I will ask anyway: at what point did you start feeling old? What event made you realize time was passing by?