Beastmomma

1. November

2. Classes. As of a few hours ago, I finished my first semester of law school classes.  I found myself getting teary as my torts professor gave her last lecture; I REALLY like her class. I totally started applauding at the end.  I also realized that I am not going to see my crim law professor on a weekly basis next semester as criminal law is taught only one semester. The rest of my classes are year long.  I did not start the applause for her, but I participated and appreciated that she blushed.  As of today, I guess that I am no longer a law school class novice.  Although, finals will begin kicking my ass on Tuesday. 

3. National Blog Posting Month.  I will admit to having selfish motivations to participate.  If you look at the bottom of the information page, there is a great list of prizes.  I REALLY want one! Alas, the process by which the winners are selected does not give me a great advantage.  The plus side is that I do not have a disadvantage either.  Please send some winning thoughts my way!!  I have really enjoyed the new blogs I have encountered and it has been fun to force myself to blog everyday. 

And there are beginnings....

1. Reading Period. This means that my blogging may become sporadic as I try to get prepared for the upcoming exams. Needless to say,  I really would like to kick off this first semester with some good grades. I will settle for not failing.

2. Rerun time for many shows.  Lots of regular shows have started or will start the winter hiatus.  This is a good time for television hibernation as I have some tasks that need attention. Please see number one above.

3. December-- Rabbit, Rabbit.

Today in civil procedure, I was laughing heartily at the professor's antics.  Two people told me afterwards that they liked my laugh.  It is certainly one of my favorite compliments. I am not sure if I am getting louder or people are just about to identify the source of the laughter.  It is starting to hit me that this semester is almost finished.  I am exhausted, anxious, and frustrated.

Fortunately, I am still committed to being grateful:

1. Eating dinner with a friend from school. One of the challenges of having lots of left overs is that you may not be able to eat them before they spoil.

2. Finishing some laundry.

3. Getting to bed before midnight.

4.  On the practice essay I did for property class, i got the comment "very nice" which is the equivalent of a B+. This made me feel slightly less anxious about that class; although, I am still terrified.

5.  Seeing the Dean's dressed up as elves and passing out candy canes.

6. Enjoying some egg nog without alcohol.

I thought that I would get lots of work done today. Instead, I felt like I was in mourning. I decided to surrender to that and take a nap. Also, I did some laundry and cleaned the kitchen. There is comfort is nesting and putting things in order.  I feel really homesick for where, who knows.  My parents talked to me today and told me that I needed to get married. I asked if it was because they were tired of supporting me financially.  (At another time, I will write about how weird it is to be back at school, using your wedding fund to pay for your education, but how that fund is in your parent's control so you have to ask them for money when you need it. As a person who is not sure if she is getting married EVER, it is also strange that I have a wedding fund. Short aside to the Universe: What is up with the marriage thing anyway?) My father said that he was just not sure how long he would be around and wanted to make sure I had someone to look after me.   After this conversation, I realized that I am not homesick for MD or to be around my parents at this time.

Corrie called this afternoon and after getting off the phone with her, I felt the pang of wanting to be neighbors with her.  Then Beth called a few hours later and the pang got stronger.  I thought that it was North Carolina.  However, I then read an e-mail from Gaby and felt another pang.  I then called Reshma and listened to a message from Jill and then left a message for Sonja.  Guess what happened then? Pang, Pang, Pang.  I think this means that I am not really homesick for a place as much as I am homesick for people who know and love me.  I am homesick for the feeling of BEING known.  I am homesick for not having to deal with finals and being competitive about grades when I know that the real education comes when you try to put theory into practice.  There is a week remaining before finals and I need to pull my shit together because otherwise I will not be able to stay in law school.   After everything I sacrificed to get here, there is no way I am going to let my lack of motivation and procrastination take me out.  I came to play, not be played. 

Given this funk, I was in need of some serious attitude check.  My list felt skimpy in the last post.  There had to be other things I was forgetting and there was.  Since I was up early, I got to see the sunrise.  WOW--- what a lovely view.  Here are some reasons why I am glad to be in Seattle right this very minute:

1. Seeing the sunrise while driving back from the airport OVER the Olympic Mountain Range.  What a beautiful contrast of red hues, white snow caps, blue sky, and dark blue water.

2. When I was stuck in the ice, getting waved at by a nice man as he was driving by; not having a single person give me the finger or yell as they drove passed me.

3. Having a good second appointment with a physical therapist. She said that I am making good progress and I can start walking one and a half blocks in regular shoes.

4. Being in a place with such a temperate climate, that I get a REAL snow day.

5. Having a view of city lights from my apartment window.