1. There is absolutely NO way you can get me to give up chocolate completely!
2. Natural Light until 8:00 p.m.  reminds me that summer is almost here!
3. I cannot live without my contact lenses.
4. Growing my own herb garden and making pancakes from scratch are two things I'd like to try.
5. When life hands you lemons run them through your garbage disposal for a fresh scent.
6. Eating fruit with my dad is one of my favorite childhood memory.
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to enjoying not having exams, tomorrow my plans include celebrating being out of school by going on a chocolate tour and attending a cheese festival and Sunday, I want to recover from all the chocolate and cheese I ate on Saturday!

One of the things I try to do to center myself when I am having trouble falling asleep (although, I have been known to do this right before an exam as well) is to start the sentence, "Even if I fail this exam [or other worst case scenario], I am still incredibly blessed because....." Given the stress of these last few weeks, I have used this technique many times. Many items pop into my brain and I would bore you if I listed everything here.

Tonight, I am going to adjust the prompt and make it, "I am grateful for..." and I will think of this:

Around 7:30 p.m. PST

Partner to-be: I am calling now because I am going to bed, but give me a ring when you turn in your paper because I want to be the first person to congratulate you.

11:46 p.m. PST

Me: I FINISHED!!!

Him: Hooray!! I am so proud of you.

Me: I love you so much; I could not have done it without you.

Him: That is nice to hear. You help me achieve more than I think possible too.

I know that it sounds cheesy and goofy, but sometimes I cannot stop smiling when I think that I have someone who requests to be woken up when I finish something that is important to me.   Of course, I know that there are others cheering for me and providing support as well.  However, this exchange just happened a few minutes ago.

1. The chole had an extra secret ingredient; it was lemon juice!
2. Breeze coming through my window.
3. Right now, I need to be on the other side of final exam period.
4. Cafe Flora is where I went Thursday night; it was not as good as expected.
5. Why does studying for exams hurt so much?
6. All I can think of is the impending doom of exams.
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to getting a good night's sleep, tomorrow my plans include taking (and hopefully rocking) my employment discrimination exam and Sunday, I want to relax a bit, before working on my Elder Law take home exam!

The kindness and support you gave me through your comments and e-mails about my engagement warmed my heart. 

In addition to daydreaming about my future with my Partner to-be, I have been thinking about what I would like to do after law school.  Almost all the lawyers I have heard speak and talked with in person have said that it is important to find your passion.  I decided to be proactive in figuring out how people find their passions and how they incorporate those into making a living and living a life. 

Over the next few months (or until I run out of people to interview or stamina or both), I am going to interview people who I believe have found their passion and have figured out how to incorporate that passion into their everyday lives.   I have a few folks who are lined up and some of them get to make a living from their passion and others figure out ways to incorporate their passions into their lives in between work and other worldly responsibilities.

I look forward to sharing what I learn and hope you will benefit from the information as well.

You constantly surprise me with how you arrive and look different than what I imagined. Take the journey of this blog for example. Shortly after I got this site as a birthday present over four years ago, I began an online dating adventure. The blog community was so wonderful. We voted on which photographs I would use and the actual content of my ad. I started the adventure of a lifetime. On this site, I documented my dates. In addition to some funny stories, I unpacked some of my insecurities and faced some of my fears about intimacy. Through it all, my dear readers were cheering me on with comments. Then, I went on a date with *Sunday*

We had a big fight a year and a half after we had been dating. I thought that our futures did not include each other. You surprised me again. He and I reconciled about a month before I moved to Seattle to begin law school. We were in touch, but you had a lot more in store for me than I imagined. I learned so much about you in the process of falling in love with him. Most of all, I found myself learning to let go of the need to know how things will turn out. His name on this site became the Visitor because I wanted to share adventures we had together.

I have also been so afraid of what you will bring. As much as I wanted to shout my love from the rooftops, I was afraid of people's reactions. My parents had lots of expectations of you in regard to who I would marry. I had so much fear of yelling and being disowned. Again you exceeded my expectations. Yes, it was hard to tell my parents. However, I discovered that all the challenges of bringing a potential partner home to meet the family is worthwhile for the chance to be able to say out loud, "This is the person I want to be my life partner."

Even after learning over and over again that I should let go of the need to have you, the future, look a certain way, I still found myself clinging to an image of how things should turn out. The pressure started to mount about what the next step would be and if/how I would get engaged. He told me that he wanted to ask me to marry him and that I should relax. I tried hard to do that, but I found myself constantly looking to you for clues. Again you surprised me. One night at the departure area of the Seattle airport, I got the following note:

You can see that I said, "YES!" Now, I look to you with excitement and look forward to experiencing you with my Partner to-be.*

Love, love, love,

Beastmomma (a.ka. honest woman to-be)

*In case it is not clear *Sunday*= Visitor=Partner to-be

Why do you have to be so fast, cheap, and easy? I try to hide from you by not keeping you in my kitchen.  Seriously, I have all "healthy" snacks in my place and yet, you seem to find me.  No matter where you are hiding, I can find you in vending machines, at the student center, or the Starbucks across the street.  I notice that I come to you faster when I am stressed or tired.  I am trying so hard to create a new pattern.  It seems like you have so many allies who advertise on the television or billboards.  I feel like I am never going to be able to give you up.

I want to crave healthy foods. I want you to be something in my past.  In the meantime, I think that we should start seeing other people. 

Yours,

Beastmomma

Dear Apartment:

As much as I enjoy being here by myself, I also like having company.  Sometimes during the visits, I find myself feeling nervous or self-conscious about my living habits.  I feel glad that you do not pass judgment on me when I do not always put things away immediately or when I walk around all day in my pajamas.  Sometimes, I imagine that you chuckle at my "good behavior" when other people are around.  All of a sudden, I become a woman who eats breakfast with ease or puts everything away as soon as she walks into the room. 

This weekend, I was so glad to have a Visitor here.  The semester is coming to an end and my self-esteem always goes down at this time of year.  Often, I wonder if I am good enough to excel in law school.  Over the weekend, I put those thoughts at bay and worked on other things.  It was so nice to have you feel cramped for the shore term.  When I returned from the airport, you felt huge.  I am sure that soon enough you will be filled with manifestations of my stress.

Yours truly,

Beastmomma

This week is Discover New Blogs Week!

1. Look through the list of blogs on the Mr Linky below and see if you can find five that are new to you. If you can’t, find as many new blogs as possible and then some you don’t read super regularly.

2. Visit those new blogs. A comment would be nice; people like comments.

3. When you’re ready, at some point by Friday if you want to be included in the blurbs next week, write a post in your blog featuring those new blogs you visited.

4. Don’t forget to come back here and leave a link to your post, so that I can get it into the blurbs! (The link to the post is here).

Whenever I discover new blogs, I wish that I could have an extra few hours every day just to devote to internet surfing.  It was a tough decision, but these are the five that I chose to feature:

• A Girl Walks into a Bookstore: I really like the title of this blog and found (in her own words) that it features: "not just reviews of what I've read, but news about what's going to be published and/or what I'm looking forward to reading in the near future.
• Everyday Reads: Her writing style is engaging and informative.
• Passion for the Page: I really liked the title of this blog and the writer seems to finish a new book every day.
• Naked Without Books: The title of this blog made me smile.  I was excited to discover that the blogger resides in South Korea.  She has two weekly features called Wishlist Wednesday and Flashback Friday which I find especially endearing.
• Bookworms and Tea Lovers: I fit into both of the categories described in the blog name. The author resides in the Netherlands.  The books she selects seem to have an international focus. As I was looking around her site, I discovered that we are in a challenge together.