Dear Little Mister:
I keep thinking about how you have been the light of our lives in what feels like a dark and never-ending winter. Your sister had a tough few weeks at school and home; daddy and I did not always do our best to be patient and understanding with her. The house needed some repairs. We fixed the guest room which is wonderful, but was expensive. The cost made us feel stressed about money. We are undertaking a massive job search; I am excited for the potential of starting another professional adventure, but also nervous. These days, I often feel tired, cranky, sad, and stressed.
when we are playing and cuddling together. You make me feel like a rockstar when you see me and immediately start smiling, laughing, and kicking your legs in delight. I feel like we are accomplishing great things as we work on rolling a few times in a row, sitting, and practicing more words. You have figured out how to go from your back to your stomach; you do a push up to assess your surroundings. You are getting close to sitting on your own. You have said "Dada" and "Didi" which means older sister in Hindi. I am hoping to hear you say "Mama" soon.
We started giving you solid food and so far, you enjoy rice cereal, sweet potatoes, carrots, and pears. You were not a big fan of peas. I think your favorite thing is being at the table with us in your high chair. I keep getting surprised at how much you enjoy socializing. Family dinners and breakfasts are chaotic, but fun. You love to laugh at your sister's antics and your dad and I enjoy watching this, but know we are in trouble when you both tag team us.
Two weeks ago, we began swim lessons. I was waiting for you to turn six months, so that we could begin. Your sister started when she was 18 months, but I wanted to begin with you. I like doing stuff with you and I had heard from several people that their kids take good naps after swimming. Sure enough, you slept well after our first class. I was nervous because you seemed so upset during the class. The instructors said that it would get better and I was so relieved that you laughed when we came back for class. Being in the water with you forces me to face my fear and discomfort of being in a bathing suit over and over. I am glad for the chance to address and transform my body shame on a weekly basis.
The other big transition is that we have someone coming to the house to watch you for a few hours two days a week. I just need more time to job search. This is our second week. The first week was tough for both of us. I was excited for a break, but also missed you so much. I heard you cry a few times and thought my heart would break. I also heard you laugh which made me happy. I think that the space is good for us as I return to you refreshed and less worried because I have had a chance to do some work related things.
You ground me in goodness and hope. With each new milestone, I remember that positive change is very close. Even when I feel scared about how to do right by you and your sister, the love you give me makes me feel like anything is possible.
I love you,