Yesterday was my last day of work. I had intense mixed emotions about the day and was debating how to handle my final meeting with my supervisor. Last week, I had an exit interview with the HR person and gave some feedback on process and things which I thought were bullshit. I wanted to end on a positive note, but felt like my supervisor also needed to hear that some of her actions were fucked up. The meeting was much tamer than I anticpated. She asked a lot of questions about a recent trip I took with the family, new baby preparation, and bar exam procedure. We wrapped up the remaining work items and then she closed with saying that she was sorry things did not work out, that I was a joy to know personally and she wished that the work had been better. I decided to take a high-ish road and said that while the last two months have been difficult, I hope that she could see the good things I did and then I listed them. I also gave some feedback on how the job announcement could be re-written to more accurately reflect her expectations. I surprised myself by asking her to keep in touch and keep me in mind for future opportunities.
The rest of the day was pretty nice. I went to lunch with some of my favorite coworkers. There was a birthday club event where I enjoyed ice cream. I got a sweet card which made me cry. I organized my email and files. When I left I did get teary because I truly did like some of my colleagues and I felt so scared about being unemployed not by choice. Maybe the Universe was trying to shift my focus because I started having pain in my side and then felt some flutters which could have been Bud. I smiled as I realized the future is growing and developing even when I am not paying attention and/or in ways I am not even seeing.
Today, I took the Little One to school and upgraded my phone. I got information about gyms, registered for a bar prep class, and renewed my driver's license. It felt good to be productive with life things. I felt a little lost without office work to think about, but also relieved that I did not have stress of anxiety or guilt about not doing more work while at home. My bar review begins on May 5th. Onward!