Beastmomma

I took a few days off from my internships, so that I could have more energy and time to devote to preparing for the exam.  The problem is that I am really distracted and nervous.  I keep skipping about ten steps into the awful future about what I am going to do if I fail the exam and have to postpone being able to sit for the bar.   It does not help me be productive and motivated to spend quality time with the material.  Instead, I freak out and then need to take a nap or watch television or talk on the phone .   Ugh. 

The experience of dealing with my anxiety has made me wonder why I am so quick to focus on and develop the worst case scenario of so many things.  I could be spending energy thinking about how things could turn out really well.  I do that for a second and then worry about jinxing myself.  I have begun to wonder why I am so good at imagining terrible things happening when I need to perform my best.  If someone I cared about were in the same position as me and behaving in the same manner, I would include a pep talk that included the importance of putting good thoughts into the world.  I would also throw in something about self-love, confidence, and trust.    I feel stuck with not being able to follow my own advice.

With my new schedule, I do not have as much time to cook as I did when we first moved to the area.  As a result, I have been trying to cook enough over the weekend to feed us for the whole week.  In addition to making some kick butt Pumpkin and Black Bean Chili, I made Mabo Dofu.  I originally found the recipe from Just Bento and it seemed like a good option for lunch.  The recipe is part of a guest post from Sarah of Get Cooking.  The original recipe called for ground beef.  Since we are vegetarian, I substituted veggie crumbles for the meat.  The dish turned out really well.  Partner was skeptical about whether it would keep well for the next couple of days, but he ended up taking it for lunch two days in a row and loving it.  My favorite part was the fresh grated ginger.  I used a grater which made it much easier and gave the whole kitchen a nice fragrance.

Over the weekend, Partner and I welcomed trick or treater for the first time in our new home.  I wanted to make something with pumpkin to mark the occasion.  Last year, I made Pumpkin and Black Bean Chili which rocked my world.  I shared the dish with a few of my law school classmates who also enjoyed it.  Partner is not a particularly picky eater, so I was not too worried. Plus, the entire dish can be made using just one pot which cuts down on dishes.

The recipe comes from the Splendid Table which is a brilliant NPR program. Lynne Rossetto Kasper has a gift for making even the most mundane cooking tasks and culinary topics sound like poetry.  We got her cookbook as a wedding gift and as I read the passages, I sometimes forget that I am not reading a novel.  Anyway, I would highly recommend signing up for her weekly email.  In addition to receiving a recipe for Sunday Supper, you also get her tips and perspectives on ingredients and cooking methods.  It is also a good way to get an introduction to new cookbooks without having to check a book out of the library. 

As if all of that were not enough, Partner said, "This incredible!" After he took a few more bites he declared, "I think that I am falling in love with you all over again."

Ummm... what are you still doing here? Go, make the chili which could make someone FALL IN LOVE YOU!